Financial Intimacy: Going beyond “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”

Starting conversations about money is hard.

Not only are we frequently not raised hearing positive conversations about money, but we are actively told to not bring the topic up. Doing so is labeled as: 1. Rude; 2. None of your business; 3. Showing off what you have and/or Burdening others with your troubles.

These lessons make it difficult to know how to open up to our loved ones about not only about our financial worries, but also about our dreams.

Here are a few conversational starting guides for those who are wanting to take their financial intimacy to another level of understanding.

1. "What are your financial goals and dreams for the future?"

Initiating a conversation about financial goals and dreams can be a great way to foster financial intimacy in a relationship. Discussing aspirations such as paying off debt, saving for a down payment, or planning for retirement can help both partners understand each other's desires and work towards a shared vision. It is essential to create a safe space for open and honest communication, free from judgment or criticism. This conversation starter allows couples to align their financial goals and find common ground to build upon.

2. "How do you feel about our current financial situation?"

Acknowledging and understanding each other's emotions about the current financial situation is crucial for deepening financial intimacy in a relationship. This conversation starter encourages partners to express their concerns, anxieties, or feelings of security about money matters. By actively listening and supporting each other emotionally, couples can develop a sense of empathy and compassion, strengthening their bond. It is important to approach this conversation with empathy, patience, and a genuine desire to understand and support each other.

3. "What are some money habits or spending patterns that we should address together?"

Discussing money habits and spending patterns is an essential component of building financial intimacy. This conversation starter allows both partners to reflect on their individual approaches to money management and identify areas where they can work together to improve. For example, talking about shared expenses, budgeting strategies, or setting financial boundaries can help establish a sense of trust and collaboration. It is crucial to approach this conversation with a non-judgmental attitude and a willingness to compromise and find common solutions that align with both partners' values and priorities. Another guide on this topic can be found on my blog post, “Financial Management Role Questionnaire: Sharing money decision making within the household”

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Remember that open and ongoing communication about finances is the foundation of financial intimacy.

By initiating conversations like these, couples can deepen their understanding of each other's financial values, beliefs, and behaviors, ultimately leading to a stronger and more secure financial partnership.

If you or someone you know might need help with this, have them give me a call! If I am not a good fit, I will help them find someone who is.

DrZepeda@FinancialTherapyTexas.com

Phone: 713-291-9553