It’s coming… the Student Loan Forbearance from the COVID-19 pandemic ended on September 1st 2023 and interest starts accruing October 2023 (however, missed payments are penalty-free until September 2024).

There are many options that borrowers need to review to make sure their accounts are prepared for the repayments: check out the Income-Driven repayment options, save 0.25% interest when signing up for AutoPay, check to see if you qualify for any loan forgiveness options (click here for details about these options).

But there is also a less-discussed preparation that people need to tend to: Their Relationships.

It has been three and a half years since these loans were a part of many people’s budgets. A lot of things changed about our world and relationships in that time.

Below is a guide for how to have these conversations with your significant other about the upcoming shift (n.b. this advice is more suited for couples that have been together long enough to call themselves in a committed relationship… please do NOT use these steps as first date conversation, unless you really don’t want a second date!!!).

Steps to Connect Over Student Loans

• Talk Openly About The Debt Payments

  • It is intimidating, but being transparent about how much student loan debt you have is quite liberating. Sharing this with your partner can be challenging at first, but increases levels of Financial Intimacy between you two. It also allows your partner to open up to you about any student debt they might have as well. This is particularity important for couples that became partnered during the pandemic (it might be the first time you have opened up about these subjects). This transparency lays the ground for plans together.

• Discuss Your Long-Term Plan For Paying Off Debts

  • Especially if you are married or looking at marriage, this plan is very important. Keeping options open for refinancing the debt when interest rates are lower, deciding together which debt to prioritize, and how to make budget decisions is a part of financial intimacy and closeness.

• Create a Budget that Reflects Your Relationship

  • Make an Annual Budget (Click here for steps on how to do that and a free spreadsheet guide). Many people make monthly budgets, which is great for tracking spending, but the Annual Budget gives an overview of the flow of money within the relationship. Even if you keep your finances separate (about 40% of couples do), this Annual Budget for shared expenses is extremely helpful in making sure that you are both spending in ways that align with your hopes and dreams (click here for a guide on how to budget together but keep finances separate).

• Establish Your Discretionary Spending

  • Set up a Discretionary Spending debit card that is paid to each of you every month. This helps you to very easily keep track of how much ‘Fun Money’ you are spending each month. This is a great way to be able to make sure you are holding each other accountable for spending without crucifying each other. Just be sure there is not overdraft protection on these debit cards (otherwise you might end up paying tons of fees accidentally).

Keeping your conversations about debt open can be difficult, but after doing so, you will feel more connected, less defensive, and more secure in the relationship.

If you need help starting these conversations, reach out! Financial Therapy with a licensed marriage and family therapist can be a great start to getting these conversations going. If I am not a good fit, I will help you find someone who is.

DrZepeda@FinancialTherapyTexas.com

Phone: 713-291-9553