Financial Infidelity and Secrecy with Money are huge issues in relationships (see our blogpost on Financial Infidelity for more details).

But how can we know if we are prone to this type of secrecy (or if our partner is)? How can I tell if I need to be more (or less) open about my finances with my partner? This is where the Financial Infidelity Scale might be of help to us.

The developers of the scale define Financial Infidelity as “engaging in any financial behavior expected to be disapproved of by one’s romantic partner and intentionally failing to disclose this behavior to them … [arising] from conflict between one’s own financial preferences, goals, and desires, and those dictated by a significant other” (Garbinsky, Gladstone, Nikolova, & Olson, 2020).

Let’s look at the items on the scale:

Spending 

• If I really wanted to purchase something but my partner did not approve of the price, I would consider buying it anyway and not telling him/her. 

• I do not want my partner reading my purchase receipts, in case s/he disapproves of my spending. 

Saving  

• I am always honest with my partner about the amount of savings I have.* 

• Sometimes I pretend to be saving money when, in reality, I am not. 

Debts 

• I would hide a bill from my partner to avoid upsetting him/her. 

• If I needed the money just for a few days, I would take out credit and not tell my partner. 

Gift-giving 

• Sometimes I avoid telling my partner how much money I spend on gifts to avoid confrontation. 

• My partner knows exactly how much money I spend on gifts for friends and relatives.* 

Gambling 

• I would not tell my partner if I lost money gambling. 

• If I won a bet, I might buy myself a treat and not tell my partner. 

Income 

• If I received an unexpected inheritance, it would be nice to buy things without my partner having to know. 

• I prefer to keep information about my income private from my partner. 

 NOTE.—Items with an asterisk (*) are reverse-scored.

The authors found that the scale reliably predicted tendency towards financial infidelity and went on to explore how this might have an impact on the relationship. Through running multiple analyses (see their Results section for the nitty gritty), they found that “higher FI-Scale scores predict a preference for personal versus joint credit cards, cash versus credit cards, unmarked product packaging, and shopping at generic stores instead of specialty stores” (Garbinsky, Gladstone, Nikolova, & Olson, 2020).

So how useful is this scale for everyday folks? I certainly would not recommend administering it to your partner as a “Gotcha! You are not being financially honest!” It is not set up to be used in that way.

However, I would recommend scrolling back up and reading the items again:

• Ask yourself how true/untrue each item/sentence might be for yourself.

• How would you want to change this item/sentence in your relationship?

• What are some aspects of your relationship that would need to change for you to feel safe to be more financially transparent** and honest?

**Sometimes the motives behind the Financial Infidelity stem from fear and is a way of protecting oneself (one study showed that 99% of domestic abuse involved financial abuse as well). If you are experiencing a type of financial abuse and need help, call your local shelter or go to The National Domestic Violence Hotline page for help.

If you or someone you know might need help with this, have them give me a call! If I am not a good fit, I will help them find someone who is.

DrZepeda@FinancialTherapyTexas.com

Phone: 713-291-9553