Bringing Up Baby: Discussing financial hopes and fears of becoming parents

Everyone tells you that having children completely changes your life … and even knowing that, we are still never prepared for how dramatically it shifts things for us.

One of the biggest shifts is in where our money tends to go after we have children.

This post is not so much about which steps to take. There are already some really amazing to-do lists on financial steps you should take (see this one from Intuit — musts from this list are 1. Get Term Life Insurance and 2. Get a Will… I have worked with people grieving the death of partner and trust me, it is a MUCH easier process when you are not simultaneously trying to mourn and figure out how to replace your partner’s financial contribution).

Instead, this post is about how to take these steps intentionally and with a hope-filled heart.

When preparing to become parents, it is common to experience various financial fears that can create anxiety and stress. Here are four key financial fears that are often important to address:

1. Cost of Childcare

One significant financial fear for many soon-to-be parents is the high cost of childcare. This includes expenses such as daycare, babysitters, and nannies. Parents may worry about how they will afford quality care while maintaining their careers. By looking at the annual costs, you both can realistically look at the costs together and discuss what would make most sense — one parent staying at home, hiring a nanny, or using daycare. There are various benefits for the family to each of these models. Discussing them with the data of costs in mind is helpful as it can be a guide to the decision-making, and then you can also explore the hopes with each child care path.

2. Impact on Career and Income

Another fear is the potential impact on career progression and income after having children. Some parents worry about taking time off work, reduced working hours, or the need to transition to a lower-paying job to accommodate their new family responsibilities. If one parent is going to stay at home to care for the child(ren), including the long-term income impact needs to be a part of the discussion. BUT… it is not all gloom and doom! This is where the hopes of what the parent who is staying at home with the child(ren) wants to prepare themselves for when the children go to school or homeschool.

3. Emergency Fund

Unexpected financial surprises can be a source of anxiety for new parents. Having a financial safety net becomes even more crucial when there are dependents relying on your support. But very often, starting an emergency fund with so many expenses sounds impossible. The best way to start this process is with a Hopes & Dreams conversation (click here for a detailed look at how to do this). After this, you create your budget based upon your dreams, rather than based upon restriction. This will be your guide on how much you can put into an emergency fund every month.

Having all of these discussions from a hope-based lens converts these worries to opportunities.

I know that this is a a lot of information and it is process. But the fruits of attempting this are wonderful! If you need help setting up this system (or would like to design your own customized one), give me a call. Couples Financial Therapy can be wonderful for helping discuss these issues. If I am not a good fit, I will help them find someone who is.

Email: DrZepeda@FinancialTherapyTexas.com

Phone: 713-291-9553

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